I dreamt that if I could control one cubic centimeter of reality \u2014 with god-like control \u2014 what would I do with that power? It seemed obvious to me, that given the small size, there can be no practical goal. I would make that cube super groovy fantastic pleasurable. Even if I could never experience it myself, that is what I’d do with my choice. All choices are equal, and this one is groovy and fantastic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I had two cubic centimeters, I’d do the same. If I had four, I’d use four. If I had the volume of a human body, I’d use it the same way. While this though progression was occurring, I was perceiving this groovy pleasurableness grow in me, and it ultimately filled my body. It was like a full-body orgasm that was very persistent. I was quite delirious with pleasure. I had to struggle to maintain my awareness. I felt that there was a risk that it should fly apart and then I’d lose the memory of what had happened. I sought to bring the sensation under order. I was able to decide. It was as though I could say, yes, I accept this and I am making this a part of me. The arrow of my person would henceforth be pointed in this direction, even after losing the ability to go the whole distance. It seemed quite a victory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Later I thought of the (historical) sinking of the ferry MS Estonia, which is a grim tale seemingly quite at antipodes with the experience I just described. But it is the same tale from a different perspective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On 28 September 1994, at 01:15, the Estonia had taken a terminal list. Out of 989 passengers and crew, only 137 would survive. At 01:15, all the survivors had (or should have had) the same question in mind: am I moving toward an exit? The people who wondered what the crew was doing about the problem are still in the ship. The people who wished they had taken another ferry are still there. The people who were triggered, who had bad dads, who felt overwhelmed \u2014 all still there, 80 meters beneath the surface of the Baltic sea. The bodies have never been removed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One moment came, at 01:15, when all players were reset to zero; no past experiences, handicaps, or wealth could answer that one question: am I moving toward an exit? At 01:30, the ship’s list was so steep, the passengers could not reach the outside decks. By 01:50, there was no point in trying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No matter what your life circumstances are, no matter what injuries you’ve suffered in the past, the present moment always offers the same question: am I moving toward an exit? Am I moving toward the life I want, or am I drowning in the life I’ve been given?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At some point, you have to realise that the comfort of your listing cabin is an illusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the next dream, I thought that I was daydreaming or writing in my office. It took some time for me to notice that the furniture was different: dark stained wooden chest of drawers, a wooden desk and wooden bookshelves. In fact, it appeared to be a room in an 18th<\/sup> century building. I realised that I was dreaming of being a different person in a different time. And yet, this person, with his different background and experiences seemed to be very much me. And he was not the only one. I also dreamt of a woman kneading bread in a medieval village, and several others. These people were resonant in their thinking, and their thinking was just what I’ve described above: they were aware that they had one question to ask. After that, came the details of each life, but the question remained the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At this point, I noticed that there was a kind of summed consciousness. It was not concerned with the details of the individual lives \u2014 in fact, it had no apprehension of them. It was rather concerned with answering the one question. It was focused on the question, and that means, it was implicitly identifying everything irrelevant or contrary to that, and was developing a stream of consciousness free of such hindrances. It was meditating. At one point, it noticed what it was doing and became sentient. It became aware of itself as a conscious being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After this peak, I fell back into dreaming the individual lives that made up that being. Somewhere, from a perspective in which time does not exist, we are together, supporting and strengthening each other just by being and resonating, when we are answering that question.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I dreamt that if I could control one cubic centimeter of reality \u2014 with god-like control \u2014 what would I do with that power? It seemed obvious to me, that…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[108],"tags":[31,136,58],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5621"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5621"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5621\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5629,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5621\/revisions\/5629"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5621"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5621"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5621"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}