{"id":5981,"date":"2026-08-30T13:08:33","date_gmt":"2026-08-30T12:08:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/?p=5981"},"modified":"2026-08-31T20:38:38","modified_gmt":"2026-08-31T19:38:38","slug":"the-fundamental-perversion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/2026\/08\/30\/the-fundamental-perversion\/","title":{"rendered":"The Fundamental Perversion"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I have had weeks in which I (accidentally) maintained a simplified diet – usually just home-baked bread, canned fish, rice, peas, carrots, give or take a few items. This usually happened due to having eaten all the fun stuff and having put off shopping too long. When the supermarket is 13 km away, delays proliferate. Here I learned that there is a psychological difference between balanced nutrition and imbalanced nutrition. I notice that I lost during those weeks the urge to snack. I did not yearn to go to a restaurant. It seemed that the problem of food had been settled. I thought about other things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As soon as I would get into a bag of petrol station crisps, the truce would end. Once ended, it was easy to forget that it had even happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, on the other side, I see that it is satisfying to want a snack and then to get that snack. It is much more interesting than not wanting one and not getting one, even if the end result \u2014 not wanting \u2014 is the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a perversion, and perhaps the fundamental one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Elizbeth<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I sometimes have false awakenings<\/a> in which I believe I am another person in another point in history. The problems and the fears that that person has, I believe to be my own; I take them quite seriously. The kinds of petty domestic scandals that I ordinarily find ridiculous seem quite compelling in the context of a life that makes them likely. Parents with wayward children wring their hands. Women with inconstant lovers cry. A boy who has lost a favourite toy is devastated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of the problems that people faced in the past were quite serious, like getting enough to eat and staying warm in winter. Nevertheless, life- and health-threatening problems were not enough. The overwhelming majority of problems were moral \u2014 for example, impiety, homosexuality, a woman wearing her hair down, or even worse, wearing pants. It is mind-blowing to consider that people who had poor chances of living past forty ever<\/em> worried about things that were not life-threatening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There seems to be a common drive to seek out and dramatise problems which we may then struggle with. Why? It is fear of spanking \u2014 or the experience of a faith-affirming, order-restoring spanking<\/a> \u2014 that rescues and directs impoverished attention. A loose cannonball does not stop rolling until it hits a bulwark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

I dreamt last week that I was in a consumer electronics store with a dream companion<\/a>. I came upon an all-in-one radio. This device received all frequencies, plus could transmit on short-wave or citizens’ band. I noticed that in the center of the face was a raised baffle vent with the letters “SISS” embossed in the plastic. I did not recognise the brand, but Chinese brands come and go with such frequency, I recognise few of them anyway. I told my dream companion that this unit would be ideal for a post-civilisation lifestyle. She said that it was a disreputable brand and that one would do best to avoid it. We left without further discussion. When I awoke, I looked up the brand on the internet. It turns out that the brand to be avoided is “Self-Induced Stress Syndrome.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, I am forced to reconsider my own situations. The worst is having enough awareness to see one’s own mental poverty, but being too mentally impoverished to do anything about it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A need indeed is a righteous steed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6017,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[92],"tags":[31,136],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5981"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5981"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5981\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6034,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5981\/revisions\/6034"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6017"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/tolton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}