\u201cHave some wine,\u201d the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. \u201cI don\u2019t see any wine,\u201d she remarked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThere isn\u2019t any,\u201d said the March Hare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen it wasn\u2019t very civil of you to offer it,\u201d said Alice angrily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt wasn\u2019t very civil of you to sit down without being invited,\u201d said the March Hare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t know it was your<\/em> table,\u201d said Alice; \u201cit\u2019s laid for a great many more than three.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYour hair wants cutting,\u201d said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou should learn not to make personal remarks,\u201d Alice said with some severity; \u201cit\u2019s very rude.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he said<\/em> was, \u201cWhy is a raven like a writing-desk?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCome, we shall have some fun now!\u201d thought Alice. \u201cI\u2019m glad they\u2019ve begun asking riddles.\u2014I believe I can guess that,\u201d she added aloud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?\u201d said the March Hare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cExactly so,\u201d said Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThen you should say what you mean,\u201d the March Hare went on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI do,\u201d Alice hastily replied; \u201cat least\u2014at least I mean what I say\u2014that\u2019s the same thing, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNot the same thing a bit!\u201d said the Hatter. \u201cYou might just as well say that \u2018I see what I eat\u2019 is the same thing as \u2018I eat what I see\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou might just as well say,\u201d added the March Hare, \u201cthat \u2018I like what I get\u2019 is the same thing as \u2018I get what I like\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou might just as well say,\u201d added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, \u201cthat \u2018I breathe when I sleep\u2019 is the same thing as \u2018I sleep when I breathe\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt is<\/em> the same thing with you,\u201d said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn\u2019t much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Hatter was the first to break the silence. \u201cWhat day of the month is it?\u201d he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alice considered a little, and then said \u201cThe fourth.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTwo days wrong!\u201d sighed the Hatter. \u201cI told you butter wouldn\u2019t suit the works!\u201d he added looking angrily at the March Hare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt was the best<\/em> butter,\u201d the March Hare meekly replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,\u201d the Hatter grumbled: \u201cyou shouldn\u2019t have put it in with the bread-knife.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, \u201cIt was the best<\/em> butter, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. \u201cWhat a funny watch!\u201d she remarked. \u201cIt tells the day of the month, and doesn\u2019t tell what o\u2019clock it is!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy should it?\u201d muttered the Hatter. \u201cDoes your<\/em> watch tell you what year it is?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOf course not,\u201d Alice replied very readily: \u201cbut that\u2019s because it stays the same year for such a long time together.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhich is just the case with mine<\/em>,\u201d said the Hatter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter\u2019s remark seemed to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. \u201cI don\u2019t quite understand you,\u201d she said, as politely as she could.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe Dormouse is asleep again,\u201d said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes, \u201cOf course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHave you guessed the riddle yet?\u201d the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo, I give it up,\u201d Alice replied: \u201cwhat\u2019s the answer?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI haven\u2019t the slightest idea,\u201d said the Hatter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNor I,\u201d said the March Hare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alice sighed wearily. \u201cI think you might do something better with the time,\u201d she said, \u201cthan waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf you knew Time as well as I do,\u201d said the Hatter, \u201cyou wouldn\u2019t talk about wasting it<\/em>. It\u2019s him<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t know what you mean,\u201d said Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOf course you don\u2019t!\u201d the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. \u201cI dare say you never even spoke to Time!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPerhaps not,\u201d Alice cautiously replied: \u201cbut I know I have to beat time when I learn music.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAh! that accounts for it,\u201d said the Hatter. \u201cHe won\u2019t stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he\u2019d do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o\u2019clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you\u2019d only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n (\u201cI only wish it was,\u201d the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat would be grand, certainly,\u201d said Alice thoughtfully: \u201cbut then\u2014I shouldn\u2019t be hungry for it, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNot at first, perhaps,\u201d said the Hatter: \u201cbut you could keep it to half-past one as long as you liked.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIs that the way you<\/em> manage?\u201d Alice asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Hatter shook his head mournfully. \u201cNot I!\u201d he replied. \u201cWe quarrelled last March\u2014just before he<\/em> went mad, you know\u2014\u201d (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) \u201c\u2014it was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing<\/p>\n\n\n You know the song, perhaps?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve heard something like it,\u201d said Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt goes on, you know,\u201d the Hatter continued, \u201cin this way:\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep \u201cTwinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle<\/em>\u2014\u201d and went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it stop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, I\u2019d hardly finished the first verse,\u201d said the Hatter, \u201cwhen the Queen jumped up and bawled out, \u2018He\u2019s murdering the time! Off with his head!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow dreadfully savage!\u201d exclaimed Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd ever since that,\u201d the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, \u201che won\u2019t do a thing I ask! It\u2019s always six o\u2019clock now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n A bright idea came into Alice\u2019s head. \u201cIs that the reason so many tea-things are put out here?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, that\u2019s it,\u201d said the Hatter with a sigh: \u201cit\u2019s always tea-time, and we\u2019ve no time to wash the things between whiles.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThen you keep moving round, I suppose?\u201d said Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cExactly so,\u201d said the Hatter: \u201cas the things get used up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut what happens when you come to the beginning again?\u201d Alice ventured to ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSuppose we change the subject,\u201d the March Hare interrupted, yawning. \u201cI\u2019m getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid I don\u2019t know one,\u201d said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThen the Dormouse shall!\u201d they both cried. \u201cWake up, Dormouse!\u201d And they pinched it on both sides at once.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. \u201cI wasn\u2019t asleep,\u201d he said in a hoarse, feeble voice: \u201cI heard every word you fellows were saying.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTell us a story!\u201d said the March Hare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, please do!\u201d pleaded Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd be quick about it,\u201d added the Hatter, \u201cor you\u2019ll be asleep again before it\u2019s done.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOnce upon a time there were three little sisters,\u201d the Dormouse began in a great hurry; \u201cand their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat did they live on?\u201d said Alice, who always took a great interest in questions of eating and drinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThey lived on treacle,\u201d said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThey couldn\u2019t have done that, you know,\u201d Alice gently remarked; \u201cthey\u2019d have been ill.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo they were,\u201d said the Dormouse; \u201cvery<\/em> ill.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: \u201cBut why did they live at the bottom of a well?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTake some more tea,\u201d the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve had nothing yet,\u201d Alice replied in an offended tone, \u201cso I can\u2019t take more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou mean you can\u2019t take less<\/em>,\u201d said the Hatter: \u201cit\u2019s very easy to take more<\/em> than nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNobody asked your<\/em> opinion,\u201d said Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWho\u2019s making personal remarks now?\u201d the Hatter asked triumphantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her question. \u201cWhy did they live at the bottom of a well?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, \u201cIt was a treacle-well.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThere\u2019s no such thing!\u201d Alice was beginning very angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went \u201cSh! sh!\u201d and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, \u201cIf you can\u2019t be civil, you\u2019d better finish the story for yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo, please go on!\u201d Alice said very humbly; \u201cI won\u2019t interrupt again. I dare say there may be one<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOne, indeed!\u201d said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on. \u201cAnd so these three little sisters\u2014they were learning to draw, you know\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat did they draw?\u201d said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTreacle,\u201d said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI want a clean cup,\u201d interrupted the Hatter: \u201clet\u2019s all move one place on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved into the Dormouse\u2019s place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: \u201cBut I don\u2019t understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou can draw water out of a water-well,\u201d said the Hatter; \u201cso I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well\u2014eh, stupid?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut they were in<\/em> the well,\u201d Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOf course they were,\u201d said the Dormouse; \u201c\u2014well in.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without interrupting it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThey were learning to draw,\u201d the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; \u201cand they drew all manner of things\u2014everything that begins with an M\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy with an M?\u201d said Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy not?\u201d said the March Hare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alice was silent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on: \u201c\u2014that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness\u2014you know you say things are \u201cmuch of a muchness\u201d\u2014did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cReally, now you ask me,\u201d said Alice, very much confused, \u201cI don\u2019t think\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThen you shouldn\u2019t talk,\u201d said the Hatter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.<\/p>\n\n\n \u201cAt any rate I\u2019ll never go there<\/em> again!\u201d said Alice as she picked her way through the wood. \u201cIt\u2019s the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it. \u201cThat\u2019s very curious!\u201d she thought. \u201cBut everything\u2019s curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.\u201d And in she went.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little glass table. \u201cNow, I\u2019ll manage better this time,\u201d she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the little passage: and then<\/em>\u2014she found herself at last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A Mad Tea-Party<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-504","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chapter"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/504","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=504"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/504\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":547,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/504\/revisions\/547"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=504"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=504"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=504"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"An](\"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/illustration-25-300x228.png\")
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<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\u2018Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you\u2019re at!\u2019<\/pre>\n\n\n\n\u2018Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle\u2014\u2019\u201d<\/pre>\n\n\n\n![\"A](\"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/illustration-27-300x273.png\")
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