She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. \u201cYou\u2019re thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can\u2019t tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPerhaps it hasn\u2019t one,\u201d Alice ventured to remark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTut, tut, child!\u201d said the Duchess. \u201cEverything\u2019s got a moral, if only you can find it.\u201d And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice\u2019s side as she spoke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, because the Duchess was very<\/em> ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice\u2019s shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe game\u2019s going on rather better now,\u201d she said, by way of keeping up the conversation a little.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c\u2019Tis so,\u201d said the Duchess: \u201cand the moral of that is\u2014\u2018Oh, \u2019tis love, \u2019tis love, that makes the world go round!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSomebody said,\u201d Alice whispered, \u201cthat it\u2019s done by everybody minding their own business!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAh, well! It means much the same thing,\u201d said the Duchess, digging her sharp little chin into Alice\u2019s shoulder as she added, \u201cand the moral of that<\/em> is\u2014\u2018Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow fond she is of finding morals in things!\u201d Alice thought to herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI dare say you\u2019re wondering why I don\u2019t put my arm round your waist,\u201d the Duchess said after a pause: \u201cthe reason is, that I\u2019m doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHe might bite,\u201d Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to have the experiment tried.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cVery true,\u201d said the Duchess: \u201cflamingoes and mustard both bite. And the moral of that is\u2014\u2018Birds of a feather flock together.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOnly mustard isn\u2019t a bird,\u201d Alice remarked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRight, as usual,\u201d said the Duchess: \u201cwhat a clear way you have of putting things!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s a mineral, I think<\/em>,\u201d said Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOf course it is,\u201d said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to everything that Alice said; \u201cthere\u2019s a large mustard-mine near here. And the moral of that is\u2014\u2018The more there is of mine, the less there is of yours.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, I know!\u201d exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark, \u201cit\u2019s a vegetable. It doesn\u2019t look like one, but it is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI quite agree with you,\u201d said the Duchess; \u201cand the moral of that is\u2014\u2018Be what you would seem to be\u2019\u2014or if you\u2019d like it put more simply\u2014\u2018Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI think I should understand that better,\u201d Alice said very politely, \u201cif I had it written down: but I can\u2019t quite follow it as you say it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s nothing to what I could say if I chose,\u201d the Duchess replied, in a pleased tone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPray don\u2019t trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,\u201d said Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, don\u2019t talk about trouble!\u201d said the Duchess. \u201cI make you a present of everything I\u2019ve said as yet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA cheap sort of present!\u201d thought Alice. \u201cI\u2019m glad they don\u2019t give birthday presents like that!\u201d But she did not venture to say it out loud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThinking again?\u201d the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp little chin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve a right to think,\u201d said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to feel a little worried.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cJust about as much right,\u201d said the Duchess, \u201cas pigs have to fly; and the m\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n But here, to Alice\u2019s great surprise, the Duchess\u2019s voice died away, even in the middle of her favourite word \u2018moral,\u2019 and the arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA fine day, your Majesty!\u201d the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNow, I give you fair warning,\u201d shouted the Queen, stamping on the ground as she spoke; \u201ceither you or your head must be off, and that in about half no time! Take your choice!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLet\u2019s go on with the game,\u201d the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to the croquet-ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen\u2019s absence, and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a moment\u2019s delay would cost them their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling with the other players, and shouting \u201cOff with his head!\u201d or \u201cOff with her head!\u201d Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of execution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, \u201cHave you seen the Mock Turtle yet?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo,\u201d said Alice. \u201cI don\u2019t even know what a Mock Turtle is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,\u201d said the Queen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI never saw one, or heard of one,\u201d said Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCome on, then,\u201d said the Queen, \u201cand he shall tell you his history,\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, to the company generally, \u201cYou are all pardoned.\u201d \u201cCome, that\u2019s<\/em> a good thing!\u201d she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.<\/p>\n\n\n They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun. (If you don\u2019t know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) \u201cUp, lazy thing!\u201d said the Queen, \u201cand take this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see after some executions I have ordered;\u201d and she walked off, leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage Queen: so she waited.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. \u201cWhat fun!\u201d said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat is<\/em> the fun?\u201d said Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy, she<\/em>,\u201d said the Gryphon. \u201cIt\u2019s all her fancy, that: they never executes nobody, you know. Come on!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEverybody says \u2018come on!\u2019 here,\u201d thought Alice, as she went slowly after it: \u201cI never was so ordered about in all my life, never!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She pitied him deeply. \u201cWhat is his sorrow?\u201d she asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words as before, \u201cIt\u2019s all his fancy, that: he hasn\u2019t got no sorrow, you know. Come on!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis here young lady,\u201d said the Gryphon, \u201cshe wants for to know your history, she do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ll tell it her,\u201d said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: \u201csit down, both of you, and don\u2019t speak a word till I\u2019ve finished.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to herself, \u201cI don\u2019t see how he can ever<\/em> finish, if he doesn\u2019t begin.\u201d But she waited patiently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOnce,\u201d said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, \u201cI was a real Turtle.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an occasional exclamation of \u201cHjckrrh!\u201d from the Gryphon, and the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and saying, \u201cThank you, sir, for your interesting story,\u201d but she could not help thinking there must<\/em> be more to come, so she sat still and said nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n \u201cWhen we were little,\u201d the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, \u201cwe went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle\u2014we used to call him Tortoise\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn\u2019t one?\u201d Alice asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe called him Tortoise because he taught us,\u201d said the Mock Turtle angrily: \u201creally you are very dull!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,\u201d added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, \u201cDrive on, old fellow! Don\u2019t be all day about it!\u201d and he went on in these words:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn\u2019t believe it\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI never said I didn\u2019t!\u201d interrupted Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou did,\u201d said the Mock Turtle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHold your tongue!\u201d added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again. The Mock Turtle went on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe had the best of educations\u2014in fact, we went to school every day\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve<\/em> been to a day-school, too,\u201d said Alice; \u201cyou needn\u2019t be so proud as all that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWith extras?\u201d asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes,\u201d said Alice, \u201cwe learned French and music.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd washing?\u201d said the Mock Turtle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCertainly not!\u201d said Alice indignantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAh! then yours wasn\u2019t a really good school,\u201d said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief. \u201cNow at ours<\/em> they had at the end of the bill, \u2018French, music, and washing<\/em>\u2014extra.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou couldn\u2019t have wanted it much,\u201d said Alice; \u201cliving at the bottom of the sea.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI couldn\u2019t afford to learn it.\u201d said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. \u201cI only took the regular course.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat was that?\u201d inquired Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cReeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,\u201d the Mock Turtle replied; \u201cand then the different branches of Arithmetic\u2014Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI never heard of \u2018Uglification,\u2019\u201d Alice ventured to say. \u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. \u201cWhat! Never heard of uglifying!\u201d it exclaimed. \u201cYou know what to beautify is, I suppose?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes,\u201d said Alice doubtfully: \u201cit means\u2014to\u2014make\u2014anything\u2014prettier.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, then,\u201d the Gryphon went on, \u201cif you don\u2019t know what to uglify is, you are<\/em> a simpleton.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said \u201cWhat else had you to learn?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, there was Mystery,\u201d the Mock Turtle replied, counting off the subjects on his flappers, \u201c\u2014Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography: then Drawling\u2014the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, that used to come once a week: he<\/em> taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat was that<\/em> like?\u201d said Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, I can\u2019t show it you myself,\u201d the Mock Turtle said: \u201cI\u2019m too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHadn\u2019t time,\u201d said the Gryphon: \u201cI went to the Classics master, though. He was an old crab, he<\/em> was.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI never went to him,\u201d the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: \u201che taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo he did, so he did,\u201d said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd how many hours a day did you do lessons?\u201d said Alice, in a hurry to change the subject.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTen hours the first day,\u201d said the Mock Turtle: \u201cnine the next, and so on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat a curious plan!\u201d exclaimed Alice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s the reason they\u2019re called lessons,\u201d the Gryphon remarked: \u201cbecause they lessen from day to day.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little before she made her next remark. \u201cThen the eleventh day must have been a holiday?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOf course it was,\u201d said the Mock Turtle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd how did you manage on the twelfth?\u201d Alice went on eagerly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s enough about lessons,\u201d the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided tone: \u201ctell her something about the games now.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Mock Turtle\u2019s Story<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-509","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chapter"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/509","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=509"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/509\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":557,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/509\/revisions\/557"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=509"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=509"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=509"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"A](\"https:\/\/earlywithdrawal.net\/victoriana\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/illustration-33-300x205.png\")
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