CHAPTER III.
WHAT IT WOULD COST.
On the day appointed I started out to call on the lady who had intimated her willingness to chaperon me for £2,000. It was with considerable self-confidence that I stepped from a smart brougham before the door of her aristocratic abode, for I carried with me the assurance of my dressmaker that I looked a veritable Western heiress just from Paris; and, the matter of dress being satisfactorily arranged, I felt no doubt as to my ability to carry out the role I had undertaken to play. The Dowager Lady —— was particularly gracious. She was not by any means such a cold-blooded bargainer as I had imagined her to be—that is, she did not look it. A more aristocratic, refined, and interesting woman I had never met. She candidly explained that she was in great need of money, and obliged to either increase her income or diminish her expenses. Unlike one of my other correspondents, she was unable to refer me to any American girl whom she had chaperoned, as she had never before attempted to make money out of her social position ; but she assured me that some of her friends made such use of their influence, and she saw no reason why she should not do the same. We discussed the pros and cons of the matter over our tea. I was promised not only a social position, but a husband. Just who the gentleman was my hostess did not say; but she knew he could be secured. But not for the £2,000. Oh no ! That sum of money would take me only so far as Buckingham Palace. In fact, it would not even take me there ; for, besides my chaperon’s salary, I must pay the house-rent, carriage-hire, with such incidentals as butchers’ and bakers’ bills and other little accessories that in three months would certainly amount to considerably over £1,000. Then there was my wardrobe. The lady suggested that it would need refurnishing, and she knew of a wonderfully clever West-End dressmaker. There were also the presentation dress, the bouquets, boatonnières for the coachmen, a string of pearls for my neck, because they would be girlish and simple, and all that; for these and many more things another £1,000 would not go too far.
“And how much do you charge for the husband ?” was the abrupt question I felt inclined to put. But I only said sweetly, ” If I really got married, I would not forget you, of course.” She answered laughingly, ” You might make me a present, you know.”
So the result of my interview was, that I was to pay out between £4,000 and £5,000 for a “season” in London, introductions into the best society, and a presentation at Court. It was more than probable that during my career as a society belle, some poor though perhaps fascinating young, middle-aged, or old nobleman (no matter what his age so long as his lineage was correct) would fall deeply in love with me, lured on possibly by my chaperon’s representations concerning the state of my cattle-ranches out West. Then I would marry him and be an ornament to society, and I would give Lady a little present of a cheque or a house in Park Lane, or even some land in the far Western State, where my herds grazed peacefully on a thousand hills. Surely the purchasing power of the “almighty dollar” was not to be despised!
Thinking to further increase my fund of information, I answered several advertisements that seemed to refer to the scheme I had taken in hand, In the financial column of a morning paper I found this :—
A LADY OF TITLE wishes to borrow £1,000 for six months. Would act as chaperon to young lady.
I wrote to the address given, repeating my American heiress story. I stated that I was looking for a chaperon, and was willing to give, instead of lend, £1000 to the proper person. My answer came from a solicitor’s office. It read :—
“Madam,—My client, feeling:, as you do, the delicacy that exists in the matter, has handed to me your letter of the 10th inst., and has desired me to communicate with you thereon. There is no question that she is in a position to do what you desire ; and, as it is somewhat difficult to arrive at any conclusion by correspondence, I would suggest that you allow me to meet you with the view of thoroughly discussing the matter. I should be glad to see you either at my office or your house ; or, indeed, as ladies are admitted at the Club during the hour of afternoon tea, it might be convenient if the interview took place there, where, without any undue observation, I could arrange a meeting with my client.”
Other advertisements to which I replied were somewhat of this kind :—
A LADY OF GOOD POSITION, speaking several languages, expects to spend the winter on the Continent, and is willing to chaperon one or two young girls and receive them into her home on
her return to London.
When I wrote to the advertisers, most of them stated that they would prefer an American girl to travel and live with them.
At the beginning of my investigations. I did not start out with a lantern searching for an honest
man; but I think I found him by answering this advertisement :—
A FAMILY OF GOOD POSITION will give Board and Residence to Young Lady in West-End. Will chaperon her if desired.
In reply to the letter, in which I frankly confided all my social aspirations, I received a note that seemed likely to destroy one of the most valuable commercial qualities that I, as a journalist, had hitherto possessed — my cynicism. Here it is :—
“Dear Madam,—Under the peculiar circumstances, I am sure it will be better that we commence our negotiations by showing mutual trust in each other. I therefore give you my full address and write in my own name, feeling sure that you will appreciate my motives, and keep the knowledge to yourself. You can readily understand that in our position we do not want the matter to become public property or the subject of talk.
“My wife could, I think, introduce you into good English society, but not into titled society, which I know is aimed at by many American ladies, but in reality is only gained by the assistance of the needy nobility — mostly dowagers with small means and ‘marketable handles’ to their names.
“You, I think, will see that it is not practicable to give exact terms, as you asked for in your letter, without much more information than can be given in any letter, however explicit. Could you arrange, therefore, to call here at any time (we do not object to a Sunday) and see my wife and myself, when doubtless we might come to some pleasant arrangements and understanding ? “
Oh, Diogenes! what a pity you did not read the advertising columns of the morning papers! With the exception of the one honest man whose letter I have quoted, none of those with whom I had negotiations refused to entertain my proposition, even when I acknowledged my deplorable lack of ancestry and proper family connections. The large fortune I represented myself as possessing seemed to cover a multitude of embarrassing circumstances, if not positive sins. Had I carried my experiment further and been introduced and presented at Court, I should only have been one of numerous Americans who have walked on a golden pavement to the Throne Room of Buckingham Palace.
